Miserable Confessions
by Andkaylawaslike
Summary: What happens when you realize you love a girl who's dead? What happens when you realize the girl you love is actually dead? What happens when you try to find her? Only time can tell. Marius and Eponine face the ride of their live in New York City.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Eponine:

Marius. All I can think about is Marius. I wake up with terror. I slowly open my eyes. My body is covered with blood. I try to get up, but my head feels like it was hit with a brick. I tried to remember what had happened. All I remember is Marius. God, why are all my thoughts about Marius? I was so consumed with my thoughts, that I hadn't realized the dozens of bodies surrounding me.

Is that Enjolras? No, it can't, can it? I look at the bloody body closely. It was definitely Enjolras. And these must've been the other students of the ABC Café. I quickly look around for Marius. Oh, god. What if one of them was Marius?

I couldn't think like that. Not until I knew for sure. I kept checking ever body but Marius wasn't there. Maybe he made it out of here alive, I thought. God, I really hope he did.

I can't believe he fell for it. Did he honestly think I got shot? It wasn't hard to find blood from the dead bodies that were being killed. It was well worth the lie. I needed him to finally see that I loved him. I have always loved him.

I felt a twinge of guilt. I knew it was wrong to fake him out like that, but what choice did I have? He's with Cosette now. He will always be with Cosette. I knew I couldn't go back there. They all thought I was dead. My parents were probably celebrating at a party by now.

I'm Eponine Thénardier and I am alive, I shouted. No one could hear me of course. They never could. I was a girl who was ignored. I was a girl who was used to torture Cosette as a kid. I was a girl who loved a guy who was in love with another girl, Cosette.

The universe sure had a sick and twisted sense of humor. I needed to get out of here. I didn't know where I would end up, but I knew I'd make it. I was a street rat after all. That's the only good thing that came out of my parents. I know how to survive out in this world.

It was dark out by the time I hit my home town. The streets were too familiar for my liking. Nights I would sit out here and dream about Marius. I decided to walk to his house. I knew he deserved to know, about me. It was the least I could do. Only, when I went to go knock on his door, I couldn't.

Well, I'll just write a letter. He needs to know. I had to keep reminding myself that.

_Dear Marius,_

_I lied. I can't express to you the guilt I feel right now. I'm not dead and I didn't get shot. I just hope that you made it out of the barricades. I can't even imagine the sorrow I'd feel if you hadn't. I know what I did was wrong, but it was my only option. I had no choice. You never knew. Everyone saw it, everyone except the person who mattered most to me. You. I know you are with Cosette. I get it. I just thought you should know. I'm leaving town. I'm headed to NYC. I remember reading about that place in one of your books you had. I don't know how I'll get there, but I will. Don't worry about me. I'm a street rat, remember? Don't bother telling anyone about me. Just let them think I'm dead. If I could fool you, surely I can fool the rest of them. Look, I'm not looking for anything. I just need you to know that I'm alive and fine. Okay? It was nice, well, knowing you._

_Love Always..,_

'_Ponine _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Marius:

Why is it so bright out? I check the clock, 10:28. I look to my left and notice Cosette wasn't there. She must've gotten up early, after all, her dad did just recently passed away. I walked to the kitchen and fond a note.

_Went to go see dad. I didn't want to make you up. Don't wait up for me. Love you. –C_

Well, maybe now I can go back home and get the rest of my things. It's been a whirlwind ever since we got married. Everything just happened so fast. I'm surprised I even made it this far with the limited clothing I had.

It was a peaceful walk back to my house. I'm glad things are calming down for us. As I reach the door, I realize there's a note. _Dear Marius, I lied. I can't express to you the guilt I feel right now. I'm not dead and I didn't get shot…_This has to be a joke. Well, that was my first thought.

As I kept reading, things kept getting more and more surreal. 'Ponine can't be, can she? I saw the blood with my own eyes! I sank to the floor. My head is spinning, full of possibilities. She could be hurt! She could die roaming the streets. A voice popped in my head. _I'm a street rat, remember?_

I laughed. It was just like her to be so courageous like that. I guess she had to be though. She wasn't like me. She was so much better. My book smarts meant nothing out there at the Barricades. Of course she made it out alive. Out of everyone she would be it.

New York City. Why in the world would she pick NYC? _I love this picture. Look at all the lit up sky-buildings, or something. It's like the stars in the sky. Just the sound of it makes me smile. It's like paris, but better. _Of course, I thought. She always had a thing for stars. She would tell me that she would spend nights just staring up at them, thinking.

All of the sudden I hear a bird. Jerked out of my head, I look around me. I hadn't even made it through the door of my own house. I suddenly climb inside and set the letter down on the table.

I travelled to my room to collect the rest of my things. I'd be needing it all. Just then I heard the door open. It must be Cosette.

"I'll be down in a bit. I'm just finishing gathering my clothes," I yelled.

I continued folding, waiting for a response. After silence I called out again.

"Cosette, sweetie? Everything Alright?" I asked.

Then I heard the front door slam. It shook everything in the room. I ran downstairs and out the door after Cosette.

"Get away from me!" she yelled.

"What happened! Cosette, tell me what happened," I asked.

"How long?"

"How long for what?"

"How long have you known about this!" she yells.

She hands me the letter and runs away. You could hear the sniffling and see the tears streaming down her heartbroken face. I looked again at the letter. Everything felt so wrong.

"I just found the letter today! I didn't know, I swear," I called after her.

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

I thought about that part awhile ago. I decided it was best if no one knew. Like 'Ponine said, they never would find out. I ran up and tried to stop her. I grabbed her arm, a little tighter than I had wanted.

"Let go of me!"

Once again my head was spinning. I tried to call for her.

"'Ponine, come back here!"

Crap.

"Did you just call me Eponine?"

"No, I was confused. My head, it's – it's."

I couldn't talk anymore. I had to sit down. This was all happening way to fast. I just need her to listen. I looked up to see her face. Had I really called out Eponine? Ever since that letter – ever since that night. I couldn't stop thinking about her.

I never realized it though. I just thought it was normal, because it was feelings of sorrow over the loss. Never had I imagined ever feeling something for her. She was just the friend.

"You know what? No. I'm done. I'm done with this stupid love triangle!"

"Love triangle? What are you talking about?"

"I've seen the way she looks at you. God, she was even there the night we finally met. Did you even notice the way she was always there?"

Now that he thought of it, she had been there that night. My mind was a bit focused on Cosette, but Eponine did save me from those men lurking around the shadows of the house.

Eponine always had this huge grin on her face every time we saw each other. I just thought she was in a good mood. I never pictured her liking me. I mean all the times we fooled around. I told her I loved the way she always teased me. And I meant it.

I never really questioned it though. I just thought we would always be close, like best friends.

"Hello? Earth to Marius?"

"Sorry, I was just – "

Thinking of Eponine? God, no. I couldn't tell her that. I wonder where she is now. Obviously on her way to NYC. I miss her. When I thought she was dead, well – it killed me.

"I have to get to New York," I suddenly burst out. "Cosette, you were right. About everything. I have to go.

"Marius wait –"

But it was too late. I was already gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Eponine:

Riding on a train was painless. Easy, and painless. Getting on a train however, was much more difficult. You'd think with everything I've been through I'd be able to hop a train, but it's much more complicated then that. You need to time everything out. When to jump, when to run. It was a long process.

It took me a while to find train tracks. I may know this city backwards and forwards, but I have never in my life seen train tracks. When I finally found some, I followed it. I figured it would lead me to a station somewhere. It was bound to happen.

I ended up in Charlotte. Getting in was simple. Anyone could walk into a train station. That much I knew. But getting on a train is where it gets tricky. I decided that hopping was no longer a feasible option for me. The train cars were too high and went too fast for a human body to jump on. I decided to sneak on the train and hide out in the bathroom. No one would barge in on someone in the bathroom, especially if it's locked. They wouldn't be able to get in.

Well, I thought my plan was seamless. As I walked on board the train, I tried heading towards the bathroom. But something caught my attention. I ducked into one of the cabins and peered over the door.

"Look what you did. Master of the house, my ass!"

"I was master. If that brat didn't mess things up, we would've been living large about now!"

"But we aren't! Are we? We're running away from the police you idiot."

"A bit of a bloody misunderstanding, really."

"God, you are stupid."

"I'm gonna get a drink."

"Drink all you want. I'll be right here waiting to save your ass. Like always."

_My parents._ How can this be happening? My parents are here, on this train. What am I going to do? I'm supposed to be dead. D-E-A-D. Not that they cared about me at all or something, but they just can't know. If they found out I was alive? I'd rather be dead already, because when they find out I will be dead soon enough.

I took the sunglasses and scarf that were hanging on the coat rack next to me and put them on. I somehow needed to pass them without them noticing. I started walking in that direction. I got so distracted, that I ended up bumping right into someone right in front of them.

"Sorry," I said in a low voice.

I looked to my right and noticed they were staring.

"Um."

"Move it, kiddo. Nothing to see here."

"God, what a joke."

"Just bring me to the bar already, sweetheart."

I held in my laughter and rushed right past them. I quickly ran into the bathroom and locked the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Marius:

What was I thinking? I can't believe I just left Cosette. I should probably turn around and apologize. But I can't stop worrying about poor Eponine. It was practically my fault that she died. Or, I thought she died. Why are women so bloody complicated. I should just buy a dog be done with it. That worked out well for General Lamarque. Up until everything went wrong.

One thing is for sure. I need to figure out what I'm going to do now. I can't sit on this stupid bench for my entire life. I need to act. "Alright, I'll flip a coin. If it's heads, I'll go after Eponine. If it's tails, I'll go back to Cosette." I grabbed a coin from my pocket and threw it up in the air. I started running before it hit the ground.

I couldn't sit there and let a coin decide my fate for me. I was going after Eponine. I abandoned her once. I knew for sure I wouldn't be doing that a second time. I was not going to be responsible for her death a second time. She left me that note for a reason. Fate can wait till I go save my best friend.

I laughed. My best friend. Seems silly to think I might actually be falling for my best friend. Someone should've warned me about these things. I bet if Enjoras were still here, he'd know the answer. He always did seem to know the answer to everything. He was planning a war and still knew that I was in love and needed guidance on what to do. God, I wish he was still here.

I rounded the corner and started walking down the main road. I knew exactly where Eponine would be. There's only one train station near here that I know of. It was all the way in Charlotte, but it was the only way she'd ever get anywhere. Having a plan in action, I walked forward happy for once that I did something for another for once.

After walking for hours, I finally reached the outskirts of Charlotte. I stopped and looked around for someone decent to talk to.

"Excuse me, miss. Can you point me in the direction of the train station?" I asked to the woman walking by me.

She looked at me with fidgeting hands, and then ran off towards the opposite direction.

"Wait! I just need to-" I start heading after her, bumping into a large body.

"The train station you say? I can help you out there. Show you the way," the large body said, starting to walk down the road.

"Thank you, sir! I've never been into Charlotte and I couldn't get an answer out of that lady, so that's very kind of you." I say following the figure. He didn't say much on the walk. I tried to make small talk. I guess he wasn't interested. Finally we rounded a corner behind a big, rusted building and stopped.

"This doesn't look like the train station. I mean, maybe I'm wrong but all the books showed the station to be a lot, um, nicer." I said turning around to look at the building.

"Kid, stop talking," the large body said and grabbed my shirt and pulled me close to his face. "Now, I'm going to take everything you have. Anything valuable is mine. You scream or yell, you die. You tell anyone about this, like the police or anyone on the street, you die. Got it, kid?"

I stood there shaking. I was speechless. "I - um"

"No talking. You know the rules. Don't follow them and you die," he says opening his coat pocket, showing the gun inside his pocket.

I flinched. I gulped and lowered my hands to my side and closed my eyes. I felt his hands grab inside my pockets. He took everything out, the coins and bills. He then snatched my wrist and took took the ring off my finger. Then he looked me over and took my hat off my head. "And I'll be taking that jacket too," he said sternly.

I quickly ripped the sleeves off my arms and handed it over to him. "Now, run away. Go," he said pushing me in the opposite direction.

I got mugged! I got mugged! I tried to scream, but nothing would come up. All I could do was run. My legs were the only thing working. I ran until my legs gave in and I collapsed on a near by bench. _You scream or yell, you die. You tell anyone about this, like the police or anyone on the street, you die. _I knew I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to live. I wasn't going to waste my second chance of life by throwing it away.

"Oh, Eponine. If you were here, you'd know exactly what to do!" I said outloud, burying my face to my hands in shame.


End file.
